Kindness

By Naomi Shihab, a Palestinian poet

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness, 
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice 
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and send you out into the day
to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindess that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere 
like a shadow or a friend.

You and the Rest of the World

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, and denying it doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later we have to set aside our denial and face the world, head on, guns blazing… Denial. It’s not just a river in Egypt. It’s a freaking ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?

It’s all about lines. The finish line at the end of a race, waiting in line at the grocery store, and then there’s the most important line, the line separating you from others. You need boundaries, between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It’s all about lines…drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell that no one crosses them. But someone almost always does.

However, at some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep people out, they fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here’s what I know: If you’re willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side… is spectacular.

What is it you want most from life?

A rhetorical question.  One that we all ask ourselves if not consciously.  Many answer this question with something related to relationship/love, money, fame, or one form or another of material possessions.  And for some, this may be as far as the thought is capable of going since it is the truth.  There is no right or wrong answer.  I have found surprising insight after sitting with this question at various times throughout my life.  At times I have been blinded to my true wants due to fears and a vast number of societal influences.  I found that many times, instead of seeking what I want, I have instead sought what ‘others’ (society) have convinced me of what I want. 

Everyday we are constantly barraged with images and words which tell us that our life will be more complete, we will be happier with whatever is being pitched.  We need more:  softer skin, more hair, better sleep, this car, a bigger this or that…  All these THINGS bring a degree of happiness.  A degree of it.  Not it. For those looking  for something more fundamental, I will argue that no matter how many ‘things’ we now have, we need to  be looking in a much deeper place.  We have all heard that money does not buy happiness.  At the same time, I have never seen proof that poverty does either.  There must be something more.

This is a question we each have to answer for ourselves.  I have found that when I look beyond the standard answers, I’ve seen there is something else.  Something much more expansive.  Once you find your ‘answer,’ work to make it reality.

Just Enjoy Your Tea

When I’m rushed for time and can’t wait for water to boil, I will put a cup of water for my tea in the microwave.  I press a few buttons to set the time, hit start and voila!  hot water.  On a few occasions I have wondered how the energy waves interacted with the water to create heat.  Usually, I just accept that the microwave makes things hot.  

We rarely look at life this way.  Because we are human animals and have the ability to think and feel, we are constantly dissecting everything, looking for the reasons behind even the most trivial things.  (Why did they say that? What did they mean by that? WTF?)  We dissect and ponder, looking for the hidden meanings of things or in the words and actions of others.

On the emotional level, the human mind has trouble accepting things as they are.  We want life to conform to our needs.  We want others to change (yes, we do), making them more acceptable to they way we think they should be.

I’ve come to see that the answer (peace) does not lie in knowing WHY the world is as it is.  Peace comes from accepting that there are things we cannot change.  Really, really accepting this.  When I can bring myself back to this, I am led directly to the present moment, the only time I have full control over who I am.  In this moment, I can decide how to look at things, how to react, and whether to be compassionate to myself and others.

We are only here for a short ride/run.  Acceptance is key. As is forgiveness.  I make the most of the present moment as this is where my life is right now.  

I choose not to fret over what made the water hot.  I just enjoy my tea.